27 posts tagged “parody”

I searched for this online years ago and could not find it. Finally, it’s on YouTube. Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you the British version of ‘You’re the One that I Want’, written by John Farrar, but lyrics slightly modified from the original. (I could have lied and said I travelled to the future and found a video of Olivia Newton-John and John Travolta from 2050 in a Grease remake.)

Have y’all heard of Uncyclopedia? It’s a Wiki, but far more entertaining. The idea, as far as I can tell, is to take an entry and turn it into humorous BS. Here’s the beginning of the entry for Life on Mars:

Life on Mars is a BBC television series, based on the life of David Bowie.

Premise
Life on Mars tells the story of a police officer, Pete Tyler (played by Graham Norton), who is hit by a car and dies, only to wake up to find himself on an alien planet, where society is based entirely on old 70's sitcoms.

And it goes on from there. Take a peek—it’s a good laugh, especially if you have grown up watching 1970s British TV series.

I would have watched Alias if it was more like this each week.

As a Miss (Universe) New Zealand judge, I can’t help thinking that pageantry would be an awfully good setting for a Columbo story, rather than the world of Sandra Bullock and Miss Congeniality. But we should have William Shatner guest-star.

Opening scene: Auckland hotel room. Miss Balclutha lies dead with a knife in her back. There is no blood as this is prime-time TV. Miss Titirangi, Miss Balclutha’s roommate, stands by the fireplace, her hands covered in fake-looking blood (which you can show on prime-time TV). A bloated, overweight crime scene photographer takes a snapshot of the body.

Cop 1 (examining the body): Looks like suicide to me.
Cop 2: Yep, let’s put that on the report.

Lt Columbo enters.

Cop 2: Say, Lt Columbo from the LAPD! It’s all right here, sir. It looks like a regular suicide.
Columbo: Is that a fact? You know, here I am on vacation in New Zealand with my wife, Mrs Columbo, and I see all these police cars, and I say to her, I just have to see what the boys in New Zealand are doing.
Cop 1: We appreciate it, Lieutenant, but I think we can handle it.
Columbo: Do you mind if I just look around? My wife, Mrs Columbo, she’s back in the hotel room watching CSI. I don’t like that show. Oh, too much blood, you know how it is.
Cop 2: Sure, Lieutenant. Pity those cops don’t know how to solve crimes like us real ones, huh?
Columbo: Oh, you can say that again.

Columbo turns to Miss Titirangi.

Columbo: Ma’am, can you help me out here?
Miss Titirangi: Of course, Lieutenant, but you have to know I’m pretty shaken up. I came back—I’ve been assigned as her roommate—and just found her like … that.
Columbo: Oh, I didn’t want to know all that. I was just wondering if you could stand over there so I could be nearer the fireplace. This coat, you know, it doesn’t have lining, and it’s colder here in New Zealand than in LA in April.
Miss Titirangi: That’s fine Lieutenant. Would you like a drink?
Columbo: No, Ma’am, I’m fine. But I just have to ask myself something.
Miss Titirangi: Yes?
Columbo (eyeing the coffee table): You see that DVD of Miss Congeniality that she has on the coffee table? I find that strange.
Miss Titirangi: Why is that strange, Lieutenant? A lot of us in beauty pageants have seen that film. Michael Caine is so dreamy. If you’re into old dudes.
Columbo: Aw, he’s not that old. Is he old? Maybe you’re right. But can I ask you one more question?
Miss Titirangi: Er, OK.
Columbo: Why is it that the store security sticker is still on it? She hasn’t watched it. So why would she kill herself?
Miss Titirangi: Well, you know, she was always a bit … unstable. I hear that she’s not even from Balclutha.

Columbo, seemingly satisfied, begins stepping toward the door.

Columbo: One more question, Ma’am. I won’t be a minute.
Miss Titirangi: Make it fast, Lieutenant.
Columbo (going to the coffee table, picking up items): And you see this greeting card she bought? She hasn’t filled it out yet.
Miss Titirangi (getting frustrated): She was a beauty queen. Maybe she was illiterate?
Columbo: I have to ask myself why she would even buy that if she was planning to kill herself.
Cop 2: Lieutenant, we might have to wrap it up here.
Columbo: That’s fine, Constable, I really should get back to my hotel room and see my wife, Mrs Columbo.

Columbo and the cops begin leaving. Columbo turns around.

Columbo (to Miss Titirangi): One more thing, Ma’am.
Miss Titirangi (irate): Yes, Lieutenant?
Columbo: How come your roommate left an envelope under the couch?
Miss Titirangi: What envelope?
Cop 1: Wow, he’s good, I never saw that.
Cop 2: Yeah, well you sat your Police College exam six times, Einstein.
Cop 1: Better than sitting it seven times. And you’re not in Guatemala now, Dr Ropata.
Columbo: This envelope, under the couch. I wonder what’s inside. Can we open it? Can we do that, Ma’am?
Miss Titirangi (irate and puzzled): Sure.

Columbo retrieves the envelope and opens it, pulling out photographs.

Cop 1 (examining the photographs): That’s Miss Titirangi!
Cop 2: Wow, that’s some serious girl-on-girl action.
Columbo: Is that you, Ma’am?
Miss Titirangi: No! Oh, just stop it! Stop it!
Cop 2: Your conscience finally got you, hey Miss?
Miss Titirangi: No, the questions! Stop him asking questions!
Columbo: One more question, Ma’am.
Miss Titirangi: No! OK, I did it, just stop asking me stuff! I can’t handle it!
Columbo: It won’t take any time, just one more.
Miss Titirangi: Stop it! Stop it! I did it, I knifed her in the back, see? She was blackmailing me with those photos, saying that she’d show them to the judges, especially Jack! And he’s the mean one! I came up behind her after she had been to Whitcoulls for the DVD and the greeting card! Please, lock me up. I confess. I’ll do life. Just no more questions!

Cop 1 and Cop 2 begin putting handcuffs on Miss Titirangi.

Cop 1: You have the right to remain silent …

Fade out. CBS’s ‘Mystery Movie Theme’ plays.

Author’s note: to the Trekkies expecting a walk-on from William Shatner, you’re too late. He played the crime scene photographer at the beginning.
   N. B.: This did not happen at this year’s pageant. Not exactly like this, anyway.

So, was anyone bored waiting for something good to happen on Ashes to Ashes on Thursday night?
   I don’t think I have memories of Life on Mars that are filtered-out versions, without all the dull moments on that show. It just held my attention better: the whole mystery element about where Sam was, the romance with him and Annie, the fond memories I had of 1970s cop shows. All these are missing in the 1981 context of Ashes.
   Here we have DCI Gene Hunt a pale shadow of his former self. He may have had a few memorable lines (referring to the consummation of the marriage of Lady Diana Spencer to HRH Prince Charles as the ‘twanging of the royal hymen’) but none that I wanted to learn. Where were the moments such as raising the fingers to children from an ice-cream van or politically incorrect racist or homophobic terms?
   I know he is meant to have mellowed out in a post-Sam Tyler world, and that makes some sense, but I’m just not as entertained.
   The only character that seems to have developed better is DC Chris Skelton, who gets more lines and more humour.
   We have more scenes now that do not take place when Alex is present, which is another clue that her experiences are different from those of Sam.
   Which brings me to Alex Drake. I liked her in episode 1, when she proved to be a capable modern-day copper, thrown initially into 1981 and understandably confused by her new world. In episode 2, she seems more relaxed by her surroundings, no surprise—but goes around like a smart-arsed know-it-all. It’s not a clever self-awareness as Danny had in The Last Action Hero. I didn’t have fun like I did there.
   The scenes with Alex’s mother were not great as I doubt I would be such a cow toward someone I hadn’t seen in 27 years.
   I know there are all these meanings about our creating our own reality in this show, and obviously Alex has a few childhood problems, but at least Sam never crossed swords with his parents—with the exception of the confrontation leading up to letting his Dad go in episode 8.
   I realize that Alex Drake is not the regeneration of Sam Tyler à la Doctor Who, but I am not warming to her.
   And I really, really didn’t want to join the negative reviewers in the pre-début phase, but it seems I must.
   I will keep watching as there is still nothing better, and self-parody is part of this postmodern world, but please give us stronger and more realistic characters.
   Summary: Gene Lite is just not as fun.

Anyone remember the 1984 Apple Macintosh TV commercial? A YouTube poster called ParkRidge47 has made an edited version with Sen. Hillary Clinton in the Big Brother role. For a home-made vid, this is really good.
   Please note that this video was put together by a Sen. Barack Obama supporter and that his URL appears at the end.

Un parodie du pub de 1984 pour l’Apple Macintosh, avec Hillary Clinton, trouvé à YouTube.

The Murdoch Press—The Times, anyway—is putting forth a contrary viewpoint to all the hype around Ashes to Ashes, by journalist Caitlan Moran.
   And I think she has a point.
   In summary, Moran feels that Ashes to Ashes has reached some level of self-parody. The star is now undeniably Gene Hunt, which, as I put forth in the comments, must be akin to the Fonz getting top billing in Happy Days after Richie left.
   Richie is Sam Tyler in this context.
   Moran, who has seen the première, or pilot, writes:

It’s not Phil Glenister’s fault – he continues to play Hunt with malicious, controlled glee. The problem is with the show itself. It has lost its innocence. It’s gone from being a little bit in love with Hunt – as any rational programme would be – to borderline stalking him. Every Hunt entrance is a “Hero Shot” – slow pans, moody lighting, orchestral upswell. Every scene is waiting for Hunt to enter, or animate, or conclude it. The show will give him anything he wants – machineguns, a speedboat, a ludicrous plot resolution.

   My remaining concern is whether we are as fond of the 1970s as we are of the 1980s. The cop show—what Americans call police procedurals now, in an effort to differentiate from English English*—probably reached a zenith in the 1970s in the UK, with shows such as The Sweeney (the sort-of inspiration for Life on Mars) and The Professionals (which was designed to compete with The Sweeney). In this context, The Sweeney is the Gospel of Matthew, and the last season of Special Branch with George Sewell was the Book of Malachi.
   But I am not sure if we are as fond of the next decade because we missed these dark, gritty shows. Dempsey and Makepeace and Cat’s Eyes are loved only by fans of the genre. Putting Gene Hunt into this world means the show must centre around him and the evolution of his character in a new decade, full of bright colours and later, pastel shades. Ashes to Ashes cannot be a homage to anything actually from the 1980s even if Moonlighting had been cited in an early press release—to all intents and purposes it can only be a homage to Life on Mars.
   Nevertheless, I am looking forward to the new show, because it presents an opportunity for fans to ask a new set of questions. Or at least I hope we can.
   As Life on Mars neared the end of its run in 2007, there were numerous speculations on what actually happened to Sam Tyler. Some argued that 1973 was Purgatory. Another theory was that Sam Tyler leapt into the body of a 1973 cop called Sam Williams while in a coma. He would wake up, someone else said, and find that Annie Cartwright was actually his nurse and they would fall in love and get married. And a lot more pointed out the Wizard of Oz references. 
   Scriptwriter Matthew Graham put that all to rest when he said, yes, Sam’s in a coma and he killed himself to get to his idea of Heaven, which features Gene Hunt, Ray and Chris, and, most importantly, Annie Cartwright. No other explanation is canon.
   Are we to accept that it’s so elegantly simple?
   Maybe yes, since this is just a TV show, but Graham and co-creator Ashley Pharoah say they want to explore the ‘mythology’ of Gene Hunt.
   The press kits are essentially saying that DI Alex Drake has imagined 1981 and the gang because she read Sam Tyler’s case file and developed an obsession over it.
   It just seems too simple, if it is written as cleverly as the original. I can’t imagine watching Ashes to Ashes and not having the same questions about: what is this time period? Who is Gene Hunt? And I would hope that Graham, Pharoah, Chris Chibnall and whomever else is writing would explore the “why” element of all of this than leave us without pondering what has happened to Alex Drake.
   If this is all—if Hunt is a psychological manifestation of a tumour or the bullet in Alex’s head—then we approach Ashes to Ashes backwards. Last time, seven million of us watched the finalé because we wanted answers. This time we approach the show knowing the answer first. And there goes one major element of why we watched the original.

* The Brits I hung out with for drinkies last night had never heard of the term police procedural.

My friend, photographer Robert Catto, mentioned this performance of ‘Rocketman’ by William Shatner to me many months ago. Who knew the man was a performer of songs? As far as I know, this interpretation was deadly serious, and shows that Rex Harrison does not have the narrowest octave range among celebrities.

   Then someone had the idea to dub Shatner’s voice on to Stewie Griffin’s spoof of the performance. Ah, Family Guy. Where would we be in terms of contemporary history without you?

I don’t know how I missed this, but after browsing Rachel’s blog here on Vox I stumbled on it: Late Show Writers on Strike.
   As has been reported in the news, David Letterman is continuing to pay his staff to December 31 out of his own pocket, even though no shows are going out due to the writers’ strike in the US. You know the man’s a good boss when folks have stuck by him for over two decades.
   The blog shows you can’t keep good writers down. They are writing, and you know, someone could pinch this stuff for a great show. Writers like Eric Roberts and Matt Stangel—or whatever their names are, since we don’t always see the credits—are at it, and the whole team is working hard to keep their humour in the public arena so Dave doesn’t outsource new scripts to South Asia.
   If the show comes back on before the strike is resolved, do look out for the following warning signs.

Top 10 signs The Late Show writing staff has been replaced:
10. Jokes relating to Ganguly and Rahul begin appearing.
9. Richard Simmons’ interview goes on for twice as long as usual.
8. Oprah begins asking if she can return as a guest.
7. Comparisons are made between The Late Show and Bosom Buddies.
6. Comparisons are made between The Late Show and The Tonight Show.
5. Michael Richards, in a free appearance, is announced as guest host for Dr Martin Luther King Jr Day.
4. Scripts refer to ‘Johnny’ and ‘Ed’.
3. Dave compliments Regis.
2. Top 10 lists are one item short.

If you had a time machine, which year would you travel to and why?
Submitted by Michelle.

Probably 2015. Jennifer and I turn out fine, but it’s our kids, Marty. Something’s gotta be done about our kids.