Should I stay or should I go?

My sleep patterns have been affected way too much with Good Morning. Having to get up at 8 a.m. after finishing work at 2 or 3 a.m. is too much. I crashed on my couch around 4 p.m. I might really have to consider whether I should continue with it: it affected my relationship, and I feel it might be creeping in to my professional life. I was getting more headlines when I wasn’t doing the show, so it’s not like I need TV to have a reputation. The buzz isn’t there.
   The lads (Barry and Paul) want me to stay, as does the producer. Not many Chinese on TV here and someone has to be a trailblazer. I may have to meditate on this: whether I stay for my race, which I must admit was one of the original reasons, or whether I look after Number One. I think this is what it comes down to, and it may take years for another person with my skin colour to break in. Heck, there are pretty few Māori on telly given the population, too, and this is their country. I worked for 20 years so that people like me could be on TV, or in whatever darned field they wanted to be in, without being treated like a “minority”.
   Where would black American actors be without Sidney Poitier, Greg Morris and Bill Cosby?
   Also, I don’t hide my Christianity. I don’t think I discussed it in much depth, but I mentioned today that I took Christmas Day off because I believe in Jesus Christ. Even that embracing of Christianity seems to be getting rarer on a network these days.
   If I stay, one thing’s for sure: it isn’t going to be for me, even if I was hired because of “me”, and not my position.