Europe

I love this dialogue from Yes, Minister’s first series, episode five, ‘The Writing on the Wall’, and have to say that it must be true. Gavin Knight has been posting episodes from that series: this one is here. The dialogue below, transcribed by The Broad View, is from the third video.

Jim Hacker: Doesn't the Foreign Office realize what damage this will do to the European idea?

Humphrey Appleby: Well, I'm sure they do. That's why they support it.

J. H.: Surely the Foreign Office is pro-Europe. Isn't it?

H. A.: Yes … and no. if you'll forgive the expression. The Foreign Office is pro-Europe because it is really anti-Europe. The civil service was united in its desire to make sure that the Common Market didn't work. That's why we went into it.

J. H.: What are you talking about?

H. A.: Minister. Britain has had the same foreign policy objective for at least the last 500 years. To create a disunited Europe. In that cause we have fought with the Dutch against the Spanish, with the Germans against the French, with the French and Italians against the Germans, and with the French against the Italians and the Germans. Divide and rule, you see. Why should we change now, when it's worked so well?

J. H.: Ancient history, surely.

H. A.: Yes, and current policy. We had to break the whole thing up, so we had to get inside. We tried to break it up from the outside, but that wouldn't work. Now that we're on the inside, we can make a complete pig's breakfast of the whole thing. Set the Germans against the French, the French against the Italians, the Italians against the Dutch. The Foreign Office is terribly pleased. It's just like old times.

J. H.: Surely we are committed to the European idea.

H. A.: Oh oh oh. Really, Minister.

J. H.: Then why are we pressing for an increase in the membership?

H. A.: Well, for the same reason. It's just like the United Nations, in fact. The more members it has, the more arguments it can stir up. The more futile and impotent it becomes.

J. H.: What appalling cynicism.

H. A.: Yes. We call it diplomacy, Minister.