Britain’s worst cars

A selection from older entries in Autocade, for British readers. Even as a child I didn’t like these cars. Looking back I don’t even have rose-coloured fond memories of them.

Austin Allegro (Mk I). 1973–5 (prod. 642,350 incl. Allegro 2 and 3). 2- and 4-door saloon. F/F, 1098, 1275 cm³ (4 cyl. OHV), 1485, 1748 cm³ (4 cyl. SOHC). Podgy, undesirable replacement for successful 1100 and 1300 (ADO16), but often mocked as worst car made by BL. Compromises in design process led to bloated appearance. Dynamically, no improvement on its predecessor. Quartic steering wheel meant to be high-tech, came to represent the car’s ills—the item was criticized and BL reneged on its promise to remove it for launch. Still sold well in some countries at first due to value. No hatchback, despite appearance.

Austin Allegro 2. 1975–9 (prod. 642,350 incl. Allegro Mk I and 3). 2- and 4-door saloon, 3-door estate. F/F, 1098, 1275 cm³ (4 cyl. OHV), 1485, 1748 cm³ (4 cyl. SOHC). Improved version of Allegro (benefiting suspension, driveshaft, engine mounts, rear legroom), but not improved enough, with similar dumpy looks. Only model of note to some collectors may be the 1979 Equipe, with garish stripes that were always compared with those on the Ford Gran Torino of Starsky & Hutch. Four round headlights on some export models. New estate had some similarity in appearance to contemporary Alfasud Giardinetta, but little more.

Austin Allegro 3. 1979–3 (prod. 642,350 incl. Allegro Mk I and 2). 2- and 4-door saloon, 3-door estate. F/F, 998, 1098, 1275 cm³ (4 cyl. OHV), 1485, 1748 cm³ (4 cyl. SOHC). Facelift with plastic bumpers and air dam (and four-headlamp treatment on high-line models) helped improve Allegro looks, but it was far too dated to deal with newer competition from Ford, Vauxhall and the Japanese. Introduction of base one-litre model with A-Plus engine. Sold without Allegro name in some Continental markets.

Morris Marina (ADO28). 1971–9 (prod. 950,000 approx.). 2-door coupé, 4-door saloon, 5-door estate, 2-door pick-up, 2-door van. F/R, 1275, 1798 cm³ petrol, 1489 cm³ diesel (4 cyl. OHV), 1695 cm³ (4 cyl. OHC). Developed as British Leyland’s answer to Ford Cortina, Marina was cheap and conventional, but suffered from quality bugs as with most BL products of the era. Unrefined, poor handling, terrible understeer. Increasingly dated as 1970s wore on, considering it was intended as a stopgap only. Two-door coupé strangely shared doors with saloon. Estate launched 1973. Marina Mk II launched in 1975 but changes mostly cosmetic; diesel from 1977; greater changes for 1978 as O-series 1·7-litre installed and some trim upgrades. Sold as Austin Marina in North America, Morris 1300 and Morris 1700 in New Zealand from 1979 to 1981, though some left NZMC with Marina badges. Australian model built as Leyland Marina, with six-cylinder at top of range.

Leyland Marina. 1972–5 (prod. unknown). 2-door coupé, 4-door sedan, 2-door panel van. F/R, 1485, 1748 cm³ (4 cyl. OHC), 2623 cm³ (6 cyl. OHV). E-series Austin Maxi engines powered Australian Marina, plus six-cylinder 2·6 used to challenge local Ford Cortina TC and Holden Torana. As a vehicle, the bid failed: take a worse car and make the front end even heavier. Marina, however, allowed Leyland Australia to field a relatively full range from Mini at bottom end to P76 at top, if only for a brief period. A replacement was planned (P82) but it never saw the light of day. Production shifted to South Africa after Leyland Australia’s collapse in 1975.

Morris Ital (ADO28). 1980–4 (prod. unknown). 4-door saloon, 5-door estate. F/R, 1275 (4 cyl. OHV), 1700, 1994 cm³ (4 cyl. OHC). A horrid car in its last appearance before meeting the Grim Reaper. The Morris Marina facelift of 1980 was not designed by ItalDesign, which only handled the productionization; this was a British effort headed by Harris Mann on a shoestring budget. However, the car was named after Ital—probably to founder Giugiaro’s horror. No new front wings—Mann found a way to give the car a sloping grille for the 1980s. Rear end more upright. Underneath, a simple car with a live rear axle. At least they were cheap, and sold on that basis. Two-litre at least one step better than Marina, but it was a rough unit; the 1·3 A-series engine, dating back to the 1950s, was underpowered.